Sesshomaru Does Not Drabble
by inu-tiger-luver-393
Summary: a collection of drabbles based around the theme "This Sesshomaru doesn't..." rating and genre will change as more drabbles are added. will be updated more frequently on dokuga . com and feudalfairytale. com.
1. This Sesshomaru does not drool!

This Sesshomaru doesn't…drabble number one!

Rating: G

Disclaimer: *sigh* InuYasha is not mine…but the plot line is!

Drool 

Clicking the TV off, Sesshomaru's anger grew. "Miko, when did you do this?"

"Not too long ago!" she said trying to hold back her laughter, "I ran out of DVDs or I would have had this done three days ago!"

"How long have you been working on this disk?" he asked, getting even angrier.

"About a month," she stated truthfully.

"Destroy it. Now." He said as he got off the couch and stood in front of her, glaring.

"But why?" she asked loosing control of her laughter. She grabbed the remote and turned the television back on, restarting the DVD. "InuYasha would love to see this," she said as an image of Sesshomaru lying on the couch came on the screen.

"He will not ever see this!" Sesshomaru said furiously.

"But I promised him a good laugh!" she said, knowing it would push his buttons.

"Then tell him a joke, but he will not see this…this…this disk."

"Why does this bother you so much Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked

"This Sesshomaru doesn't _drool_." he said, barely able to get the word out of his mouth.

"Well this disk begs to differ!" Kagome said as she pushed Sesshomaru out of the way so she could see the screen again. The entire disk was nothing but a montage of shots of Sesshomaru drooling in his sleep all over the pillows on their bed, on the arm of the couch, even on papers in his study when he passed out while working. "This is so going on YouTube," she said evilly, "Just kidding!" she added on when she saw his death glare.

She pushed herself up off the couch and walked over to the DVD player and ejected the DVD, handing it to Sesshomaru. "Here. You can have it."

He took the disk and with a satisfied smile he melted it with his poison.

Turning away from him she rolled her eyes.

Thankfully I have another copy of that disk saved on my hard drive, she thought with a laugh, _Just wait until he pisses me of... He will regret ever making me mad!_

And with that final thought she walked out of the room to gather up the supplies needed to clean up melted DVD.

**AN- ok so here is the first on all done! If anyone has an idea that they want done that follows the theme just PM me! I'll accept all ideas! Remember reviews are a writer's fuel!!!!**


	2. This Sesshomaru does not lick!

This Sesshomaru doesn't…drabble number 2!

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: *sigh* InuYasha is not mine…but the plot line is!

Lick

Shifting slightly a moan escaped her lips. With slightly hooded eyes she looked up at Sesshomaru. "Lick it." She ordered.

"What?" he asked confused

Giving a quick nod down with her head she said "Lick it before it drips"

"This Sesshomaru doesn't lick."

"If you don't lick it your fingers will get sticky." she warned

"Then you may lick my fingers." He said with a wicked smile.

"I don't know where those fingers have been." she exclaimed.

"These fingers," he said with a wiggle of said digits, "have been in the same place for quite a while now, attached to my hand that is." He said with a smirk.

"Please Sesshomaru just lick it! Look it is gonna drip all over your pants!"

"So let it drip" he said nonchalantly

"But Sesshomaru, chocolate ice cream stains are a bitch to get out!"

"Fine, but tell any one of how this Sesshomaru was sitting in the park licking an ice cream cone, and you my little devil of a miko will find yourself at the end of a very intense licking"

With a blush creeping across her face she all but whispered. "That doesn't sound like a punishment"

"Oh but it is, I guarantee it will make you scream" he said as he leaned over and licked her with his icy cold tongue from her chin all the way up to her forehead.

"**SESSHOMARU," **she screamed, **"THAT WAS BEYOND GROSS"**

"Hn, well this Sesshomaru did say he would make you scream." He said with a chuckle. "But this Sesshomaru didn't say you would enjoy it."


	3. This Sesshomaru does not fail audits

This Sesshomaru doesn't…drabble number 3

Rating: PG-13 (mild swearing)

Disclaimer: *sigh* InuYasha is not mine…but the plot line is!

Fail an audit

Tapping his claws lightly on the desk, he suppressed another growl as his eyes roamed over the report laid out in front of him. He had failed the audit. How could he have failed the audit?

_This Sesshomaru doesn't fail an audit! Where could that money have gone?_ He thought savagely. _I have always had every cent accounted for, why are my books off by over ten million dollars? _ He thought as pushed himself away from his desk and began to pace back and fourth in his office. Running down through the mental list of where the money could have gone his mind finally found the one weak link.

His voice full of fury he shouted, "**INUYASHA! Get your ass in my office now! You've got some 'splaining to do!" **

~~~SK~~~

Downstairs tucking his figurative tail between his legs InuYasha, grabbed the keys to his brand new Bugatti Veyron, and beat ass out of the office building hoping like hell that his brother would be merciful.

**AN well here is another one. And this one double counts as Nobody's audit challenge! Woot woot!! And here is the link to what a Bugatti Veyron is! And karma the first person to mention something about my favorite line in the drabble!  
**

**.com/article/Top_10_most_expensive_cars_in_the_world**


	4. This Sesshomaru doesn't burpoften

This Sesshomaru doesn't…drabble number 4

Rating: PG-13 (mild swearing)

Disclaimer: *sigh* InuYasha is not mine…but the plot line is!

Burp

Resting his head against the glass window of the car, Sesshomaru let out an involuntary groan. Shielding his eyes from the harsh light of the headlamps from the other cars he winced in pain. A rumbling in his stomach had him fearing the next few seconds of his life…one of two possible things might happen. One: he pukes all over the inside of her car; or two: he burps. Now for most people burping it not that bad but in Sesshomaru's case, he would rather hurl.

"Sesshomaru what wrong? You look like you are in pain" Kagome asked, some of her anger ebbing away.

"This Sesshomaru thinks he is going to…_BUUUUURRRRPPPP_!" and as he said the final word a belch so loud that it shattered the front windshield tore out of Sesshomaru's mouth.

Severely startled Kagome swerved the car into the other lane almost hitting another car.

"This Sesshomaru doesn't burp, often" he said sheepishly, "Only after I drink."

"Yeah well, now you owe me a new windshield" She scolded as she pulled over as the flashing red and blue lights came into view in the rearview mirror. "And you get to pay for this ticket I am going to get."

"Ah ticket smicket, just take me home woman!"

Her eyes grew wide with fury as the policeman tapped on the window. As she rolled down the window she quietly uttered "Sesshomaru, do you remember that tape I made of you a few weeks ago?" he nodded his head "well it is going up on YouTube baby as soon as we get home!"

"May I see your license and registration Ma'am?" the officer asked slightly scared of the gleam in Kagome's eyes. With a smile she handed the man the requested items, and a small waves as he let her go with a warning she drove off into the night with revenge on her mind.


	5. Commando

This Sesshomaru doesn't…5

Rating: PG-13 for sexual stuff

Disclaimer: Yes I own Inuyasha, and I am also the queen of England! (So yeah I don't own IY and I am most def not the Queen) Nor do I own the following song!

**Commando**

Slinging down another shot, Kagome slammed the glass down on the bar. "Give me another bar tender" she said as she turned her back to the bar and scanned the room. _He's cute, he's not, that one is ok, and that one hot damn look at him._ She was just trying to pass the time until Sango got the bar. Two shots later Sango finally arrived.

"I am sooooo sorry I am late Kags, Miroku called and…"

"It's fine" Kagome said as she swayed a little bit.

"Been hitting the bottle already?" Sango asked with a giggle.

"Hey something needs to take InuYasha's place!"

"So true! Hey Kags do you remember that game we played in High School? Boxers or Briefs?"

"YEAH! We had a blast!"

Pointing across the room to a guy with short spiky hair, and eyeliner, "Boxers"

"Yeah most def, boxers. That guy over there, boxers as well." Kagome said as she pointed to a break dancer in the middle of the dance floor. The list grew as the girls scoped out all of the guys in the bar all the while downing a shot after every 5 guys put on the list. Little did they know that there was a third party listening in on their conversation; a silver haired Adonis. Grabbing Sango's hand Kagome dragged her out on to the dance floor as Sisqo's "The Thong Song" came on.

_This thing right here  
Is lettin all the ladies know  
What guys talk about  
You know  
The finer things in life  
Hahaha  
Check it out_

_Ooh dat dress so scandalous  
And ya know another ***** couldn't handle it  
See ya shakin that thang like who's da ish  
With a look in ya eye so devilish_

A devilish gleam came to the silver haired Adonis's eyes as the song started. With the stealth of an opossum, and crept behind Kagome; his hands easily finding her hips as she swayed to the beat of the music. Her eyes grew wide and flew up to meet that of Sango's when she felt the foreign hands on her hips. But Sango wasn't looking at Kagome; she was looking at the man currently standing behind Kagome. Her eyes slowly slid down his figure, a tight black beater top that contrasted perfectly with his pale skin and hair. Tight but not too tight jeans slung low on his slender but masculine hips. His hair was long and silver and framed his angel of death like face.

_Uh  
Ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots  
And ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots  
Not just urban she likes the pop  
Cuz she was livin la vida loca_

Finally Sango looked at Kagome, with a nod she signaled Kagome to turn around and look at the man that was currently grinding against her.

_She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
Baby move your butt butt butt  
Uh  
I think to sing it again  
She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
All night long  
Let me see that thong_

"Sesshomaru?" she asked quietly

"Hn, you do remember this Sesshomaru." He said ash he pulled her closer as chorus came up; he bent down low so his mouth was near her ear and softly sang along with the rest of the song.

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
_

Each time the chorus rolled around his hands would slip a little lower until he was holding her to him by her ass.

_  
That girl so scandalous_

_And I know another ***** couldn't handle it  
And she shakin that thang like whos da ish  
With a look in her eye so devilish_

Uh  
She like to dance at all the hip hop spots  
And she cruise to the crews like connect da dots  
Not just urban she likes the pop  
Cuz she was livin la vida loca

The shots she had done earlier were finally catching up to her as she danced with her ex-boyfriends elder half brother.

_She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
Baby move your butt butt butt  
Uh  
I think to sing it again  
She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
All night long  
Let me see that thong_

Pulling away from him slightly she turned so her back was to him and dipped down low, and with a body roll stood back up to stand flush against him. When she went to pop, lock, and drop it again, a bit of **her** thong began to stick out. Sesshomaru liked that very much.

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong _

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong_

When she stood up again he looped his fingers onto the sides of her thong, and held her close.

_Whoaaa  
That dress so scandalous  
And I swear another ***** couldnt handle it  
See ya shakin that thang like whos da ish  
With a look in her eye so devilish_

(whoa)  
Uh ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots  
And ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots  
Not just urban ya like the pop  
Cuz she was livin la vida loca

(whoa)  
She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
Baby move your butt butt butt  
(ooh)  
Uh think to sing it again  
Cuz she had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
Baby move your butt butt butt  
Uh think to sing it again  
Come on  
Come on  
Come on  
Come on

Yeahhhh yeah

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
_

_I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong_

When the song ended she half expected him to let her go, but when he didn't she became slightly confused and nauseated but she blamed the nausea on the liquor she had been drinking.

"Kagome, where is my brother? I expected him to be here in my place" he said as he ground his hips in to her.

"He's probably off fucking his new girlfriend, or should I say his old girlfriend turned new girlfriend." She replied as she pushed back against him.

"So then there would be no issues with this Sesshomaru taking you home?" he asked as he bent his head down to nibble on her neck.

"None!" she said too quickly, and internally blaming the liquor once again.

"Good, go tell your friend that you are leaving, and grab your stuff, I'll meet you by the door." He said as he pulled her close and gave her a quick kiss.

With a nod she stumbled over to Sango and quickly told her what she was doing, and then went to the bar and asked for her purse that the bartender had a hold of for her.

She made her way over to the door, and finally into Sesshomaru's car. The city skyline flew by as he sped his way through the city, to his pent house. When he finally parked his car, and got her up to his floor he was more than ready to see the rest of her thong, and what lay beneath the flimsy cloth. As he let her in to his room he pulled her into his arms, and pushed her down onto the bed.

"While at the bar, I heard you and your friend discussing what different men wear, what do you think this Sesshomaru wears, Boxers, or Briefs?" he asked with an evil smirk as he stood up so she could have a full view of him. He pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it across the room.

"You are a boxer man" she stated confident in her decision.

"You are wrong, my dear little minx" he said as he unbuttoned his jeans. "This Sesshomaru doesn't wear underwear; he goes commando." He said as he slipped his jeans off, showing her that in fact he truly does go commando.

**FIN**

**(AN ok I know this is a one shot not a drabble but it still fits the theme. If you see errors sorry, this one has not been to my beta…I'll get it to her eventually)**


	6. Little Red Dot

This Sesshomaru doesn't…6

Rating: Uhhh yeah about that….IDK PG sounds good to me!

Disclaimer: Ya'll should know by now that I don't own anything but my car…wait…damn my parents own that *sighs with a bowed head*

**Stupid Red Dot**

Left, right, up, down, circle, circle, circle, on the ceiling, on the floor, he just couldn't take his eyes off the stupid little red dot! He knew he shouldn't have bought her that damnable thing. It has brought him nothing but torment since she opened the little box. Closing his eyes he tried not to look at the wall where she was currently pointing her new toy, but he was failing miserably. All he wanted to do was to jump up to the wall and try and catch the red dot…but he knew that it would never work…not because he had tried it once before of course. Irritation finally getting the best of him he snatched the little gold pen out of her hand and pocketed the little bugger.

"Hey! That's mine!" Kagome yelled, "Give it back!"

"This Sesshomaru doesn't like laser pointers!"

**(A/N Thanks to r0o for the idea! Major huggles to ya!)**


	7. Tennis on his Wii Wii

This Sesshomaru doesn't drabble…7

Rating- Pg-13 for sexual stuffs

Disclaimer-If you don't know by now that I don't own IY you need your head examined.

**Tennis on the Wii Wii!**

The sound of crunching plastic reached Kagome's ears as she rolled her eyes at the screen for what seemed like the millionth time in a matter of minutes. "You know, Nintendo will not keep replacing these controllers!" she said as she extended her hand for him to give her the remains of the Wii controller.

"This infernal game mocks me!" he said with a growl.

"It doesn't mock you; you simply cannot play it. You are far too impatient to play this game."

"It is just tennis!"

"Yes, but it is Wii tennis; and I am grounding you from the Wii until you are able to not destroy the controller every time we play."

"You cannot ground this Sesshomaru. You are not my mother."

"No, I am not your mother, but I can say no to sex, and hun, I can go with out sex far longer than you can."

"You are an evil woman, did you know that?" he asked in a huff. The thought of no sex in the near future was not something he wished to dwell on. "Fine, no more Wii. This Sesshomaru doesn't like playing tennis on the Wii."

"No, but this Kagome does!"

"That's because you always win!"

"Damn straight! Now go call Nintendo and tell them we need to replace the controller… again."

"Fine, but we can still have sex right?" he asked hoping she would give him her sexy wink.

And with said sexy wink she replied, "Just hurry up with that phone call, would you? We are supposed to meet InuYasha in 3 hours for dinner." And with a smile she dashed up the stairs, knowing full well that dinner that night would be cancelled.

**(AN-Thanks to Nefret for not only giving me this idea but for also being my emergency beta! If ya'll have any ideas you can still let me know on , or here are my user names for all three pages…**

**Dokuga and feudalfairytale – inu_tiger_luver_393**

**- inu-tiger-luver-393 (it was Edward-is-my-vamp-so-back-off)**

**THANKS TO EVERY ONE WHO HAS REVIEWED THUS FAR!!!!)**


	8. The Kitchen is No Place for a Dog!

This Sesshomaru doesn't….8

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: see previous chapter!

**The Kitchen is no a place for a dog!**

She was seeing red! Literally! Her mouth clenched shut in rage. She slowly reached her hand up to wipe off her face that was now covered in sauce. "Sesshomaru!" She seethed.

"What did I do wrong!? I followed the directions to a't'!" he shouted as he looked at his now red stained clothes.

"You are going to scrub this kitchen until it sparkles, and you are going to wash these clothes and there had better not be a single stain on my blouse!" she shouted before she stripped off her over shirt and jeans and threw them to the floor.

With a growl he watched her leave the room to go get a shower. Hanging his head and putting his tail between his legs he went to go grab the mop. "This Sesshomaru doesn't ever want to cook again!" he said as he started to clean

**(AN- Ok here is another one! Man I am on a roll this week! Thanks to LC Rose for the basis of this idea!)**


	9. Sniff, Sniff

This Sesshomaru Doesn't…9

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: See previous Chapter!

**Sniff, Sniff**

*TWACK*

"Hey what was that for?" Sesshomaru asked looking up at Kagome while rubbing his nose where Kagome had smacked him with a newspaper.

"You know damn well what that was for!" she said as she pushed him off of her. They had been lying on the couch with him lying beside of her using her chest as a pillow.

"This Sesshomaru knows not what he was smacked for" he said, and he truly meant it he had no idea why she hit him on the nose like a puppy who had been bad!

"You were sniffing my boobs again Sesshomaru!" she said crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Unable to think of another response he blurted out "This Sesshomaru doesn't sniff your boobs!" when in fact he knew he had done it subconsciously.

Knowing he was lying all she said was "uh huh." Before she got up and left him alone on the couch with the rolled up news paper.

**(AN Well here is another one be on the lookout for another drabble entitled Sniff, Sniff (vol. 2) it should be up with in the next 24 hours (hopefully!) until next time**

**ITL)**


	10. Sniff, Sniff vol 2

This Sesshomaru doesn't…10

Rating: Somewhere between M and MA!

Disclaimer: See previous chapter!

**Sniff, Sniff (vol. 2)**

Lying on the bed, clad in sleeping pants only, files for work in hand, Sesshomaru tried to focus on the files for the umpteenth time since he returned home. He had been bringing work home everyday so far this week and frankly he was sick of it! He was running himself ragged, and the cold weather outside wasn't helping him much! Hearing the door between the bathroom and his room open he looked up to see his mate standing in the doorframe wearing his favorite piece of lingerie. The pen that he had been holding in his mouth fell out and hit the floor as his mouth hung open at the sight. Taking his files and setting them on the floor beside the bed he watched as Kagome walked towards him swaying her hips seductively as she did. Sitting up so his back was resting against the head board he continued to watch her walk across the room.

"I thought that you might need a bit of a distraction from work tonight baby," She said as she crawled up on to the bed and straddled his narrow hips. "You have been working yourself to hard baby; you're looking paler than normal." She said she slowly ran her fingers down his chest. His hands slowly worked their way up to rest on her hips and to pull her closer to his sudden erect fleshy horn of passion. Lowering her face closer and closer to his she began to kiss at his jaw line.

"Kagome, are you wearing a new type of perfume?" he asked with a shallow breath.

"Uh huh." She mumbled as she continued to kiss and nip at his neck before moving up to kiss him square on the mouth.

Mean while Sesshomaru was fighting an internal battle. This new perfume of hers he feared he was allergic to, and combined with the fact that he was dead tired and had a slight cold form the nasty weather out side, he was fighting back a sneeze… and he was loosing.

"Kagome, I think you should stop." He said breaking away from the kiss.

"Oh no!" she replied as she swooped back down and began kissing him again just as he lost the battle.

_**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO!**_

"AHHHH SESSHOMARU that was so gross!" She shrieked as she climbed off of him and made he way over to the bath room," Warn a girl next time will ya?!"

"This Sesshomaru didn't mean to do it! I'm sorry Kagome please come back, I need your help with this." He said pointing to the bulge in his pants.

"Take care of it yourself, I need to get a shower and was away all the dog snot you got on my face!"

"This Sesshomaru doesn't want to take care of it him self!"

"That's not my problem." She replied as she slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it.

Looking down at his hand laying on his leg right next to his crotch he said. "I guess it's just you and me tonight little buddy"

**(AN I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO EVIL!!!!!!! AREN'T I??? LOL OK this will prolly be the last update for a while I start school back up on Monday so not as much time to play around! Until next time I'm ITL and this is THIS SESSHOMARU DOESN'T DRABBLE! YAY!!!!!!)**


	11. Pass Gas

This Sesshomaru does not …12

Rating: T (mild language)

Disclaimer: See previous chapter!

Tick …tock… tick… tock…tick. The seconds were ticking by, and with each second that went by she grew angrier, and angrier. "Well what do you have to say for yourself?" she asked, hands on her hips scowl on her face.

"This Sesshomaru has no idea what you are talking about." Responded a mock shocked Sesshomaru, his nose crinkling slightly.

"Uh huh, sure you don't." she shot back, scowl growing darker, trying not to breath in through her nose.

"What did I do?" he asked trying to get them moving again. They were blocking the traffic in the mall.

"You know what, you did, and you know what you didn't do in response to what you did." She said, walking down the hall, feeling slightly sick to her stomach.

Beginning to walk again he said "Now Kagome, you are just trying to confuse this Sesshomaru."

"No I am trying to get you to excuse yourself!" she said in a huff catching back up to him.

"You are excused, Kagome" he said knowing full well that he just ticked her off but he also knew that she would cause _much_ of a scene since they were out in public.

Stopping again, rage consumed her. "SESSHOMARU MOKOMOKO TAISHO YOU GET YOUR SKINNY LIL ASS BACK HERE AND EXCUSE YOUR PASSING OF GAS!!!!"

Stopping, not bothering to turn back around to look at Kagome, he simply said "This Sesshomaru doesn't pass gas." And continued to walk down the hallway of the Mall past all of the gawking spectators.

Outraged and stunned Kagome just watched as he walked away, the stench still hovering in the air…her mind began to swirl with ideas of how to pay him back…and oh how he would pay.


End file.
